Let’s talk romance. I love a good romance, and can be found many weekends with my face buried in a Nicholas Sparks book or watching one of those cheesy Hallmark Channel movies. You know those movies – where the girl finds her “soul mate” (or “one true love”, if you prefer) and they live happily ever after. These lucky couples always find each other in the most unlikely, yet romantic, of ways. So, there I sit….blubbering like a baby over some cheesy Hallmark romance, with my Haagen-Dazs ice cream (I just love the pineapple-coconut).
A friend of mine recently told me that she was praying that I would find my “other half”, and I said, “Please don’t. Pray that I find my other whole.” The look on her face probably matched the one you have right now – somewhere between confused and surprised. The truth is that my friend, like so many of us, is bad with relationship math. Some still don’t know that a good, healthy, happy relationship involves math.
Math is a huge relationship pitfall. As a society, we are inundated with movies and books that lead us to believe there is that one person out there who can “complete” us. The issue is that we need to be “complete” on our own. Think about it like this – if you are looking for someone to complete you that means that you’re not “whole”. It also means that the other person is not whole. Do you really want a relationship with someone who isn’t all there? I don’t know about you, but I wouldn’t buy half-full container of Haagen-Dazs. So why would I want half of a partner? This makes no sense, even with my limited math skills.
So here’s my point (and, yes, I really do have one) – before you can find your “soul mate”, you need find yourself. Find out who you are so that other person can know the WHOLE you. Don’t sell yourself short (no pun intended) by looking for your other half in another person. Find that other half in yourself. Be happy with who you are, your WHOLE self. You don’t need someone to complete you. You are already a whole person. You have a mind that thinks and forms opinions. You are capable of living your own life. You are whole.
I’m not saying that you have to spend your life alone. I’m just saying not to settle for the half-full container of Haagen-Dazs. You deserve the whole container (especially if it’s pineapple-coconut!). Once you’re “whole”, maybe you’ll find another “whole” to share your life with. And maybe you’ll find that your “other whole” was really inside of you all the time. Just promise me you’ll always go for the whole container (and I highly recommend the pineapple-coconut).